I don’t know who you are or how you feel with the coronavirus taking over everything but I know you feel something. Lately, it feels like we’re living in a movie.. The scenes change every hour and you don’t know what’s going to happen next, but something is going to happen! That is a stressful feeling and it brings in a lot of anxiety. More for some. Especially more for people whose lives are being impacted financially, or those who have lost a loved one. All of our lives have been affected somehow through this pandemic. Some more than others. Just going to your normal grocery stores and seeing the shelves empty can bring many different feelings your way. Change in people’s daily habits is a uncomfortable feeling and it gets us off track. We thrive in our daily habits as it brings structure to our life and when it all gets thrown out we kinda freeze in some level of panic.

Although, knowing we are all in this together and all going through the same kind of things, all of a sudden brings a comfort we don’t usually have in disruptions. We usually just have our family and friends around, knowing about situations arising but the whole world is still moving right along side of us.

This kind of thing is involving everyone and that usually doesn’t happen. It’s helped me greatly in watching all these sudden changes everywhere we go, in how they conduct business.. watching everything close. We’re all suffering together somehow, but we’re all pulling through together to help someone else and as a nation. As well as every other country doing everything for their country as well. After such great divide in the last few years about political stuff, we’re still able to give each other, as a whole, a great big hug. It feels so good to watch us come together as a whole, a country and get through this all together. We need community, we need each other in this life. Friend or stranger, we cannot get through this life only looking out for ourselves or getting through things alone. God created us to need one another and not do this life alone. Some people do not have a great big circle of help or loved ones to get through things in life and are really hurting right now. Scared, full of anxiety about what’s next at a level one can not understand unless they have lived it or understand anxiety disorders. I’m thinking about them. Some people are already living their life the way the media says to live now about germs. Like I mentioned before people with mental health issues are some of the smartest people around and already thought about all this way before a pandemic took over our world and we had to figure out ways to stop the spread. I laughed to myself when I saw the things I saw in the news. “They are just thinking about that now?”… lol. That’s why in the show Monk, the theme song to the show has lyrics saying… “people think I’m crazy.. cause I worry all the time.. if you paid attention you would be worried too… you better pay attention, or this world we love so much just might kill you… “

Already way ahead of the curve! For me though, it all started with a full series of tests I got after going to the hospital for heart attack like pains I was experiencing. For sure it was a heart attack we thought. It was immense pain. After a serious wave of tests trying to find out what was wrong with me, after seeing it was not a heart attack they found I was way way way over on vitamin b12 from 4-5 energy drinks I was drinking a day as a young mom. That b12 overdose was just about to kill me. That is not what stuck with me though that created a huge problem ahead of me. When they were going over the tests with me they said you were negative for everything and when she said aids test back negative I completely got stuck in my mind over that aids test. That I felt so scared about aids all of a sudden once in my life because I knew I was sexually active before I was married and that test could of come back positive. It scared me so bad. They told me facts about the aids test when I said you checked for aids??? Why?? They explained it could take 10 years to show up in people and that was not what I needed to hear. From that point on only being married a couple years I began to be scared of getting aids or aids popping up in me. Completely a irrational fear began in me that would not turn off for years. My guilt of not being a virgin before marriage killed me and made the fear worse and helped it grow out of control because I was so scared it was going to pop up in me. It was there slowly creating overwhelming-anxiety about so much in my life that it grew into much more within a couple years by the time I was pregnant with my third child I was completely taken over by my aids fear and anxiety completely crippled me that I couldn’t function anymore. I couldn’t touch anything in public without it crossing my mind … I was scared blood was on everything.. aids was everywhere to me and if someone bumped into me I would go into a panic. To the point that, Josh, my husband completely took over everything because I couldn’t do it anymore. It was only strangers I was scared of.. not my family in any way but the unknown out there in the world. I went into therapy and It took some time to learn how to not be scared of getting aids and how irrational my fear was and how it actually would have to happen and I got better. Never did I get aids 10 years later, or ever, like I was so scared of. Never slept with any one who had any disease. It still was the scariest time of our life that all started because of a test that was taken to find out why a different problem happened to me. With an ocd background and having a eating disorder for most my teenager years and recovering from it .. the genes that drove a eating disorder in me popped up in a different form of ocd in me years later. Which is how this disease works.

You are a certain way with certain genes and that’s why someone who can suffer from one thing as a mental illness can also suffer with a different addiction at the same time or it can pop up like happened to me in a different form. Although I beat my eating disorder, years later I became taken over by a fear of a certain disease, and no reason should I have. I needed to get help a lot sooner than I did, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Thats why its important to get help as soon as you can, and especially to be able to talk about it. So I know there are people out there suffering from fear of this coronavirus the way I did with a fear of aids.

Although some people suffer badly being scared about germs and with something being so bad right now, they could be suffering horribly alone, going into a major panic mode. Those people are out there and they need a friend and help and maybe they can’t see their doctor right now with how much is being shut down. They need our prayers. If you stumbled across my page and this is you struggling, I know you’re doing everything to protect yourself and you can feed all the facts of this virus to yourself and it still won’t calm your fears. It’s not how it works. So please do whatever you’re trained to do in your therapy to help calm your self down if you’ve been having a hard time with fears.

If you have not been to therapy and have no idea what to do. There are some things that could help you feel better. Take a deep breath in and then exhale, slowly, many times to help calm yourself down. Talk to someone who you can trust to tell them your fears, which are very real to you, even if they are not truly real. This will help you greatly. This can help the fight or flight slow down in you, being talked to and heard. You will slowly be able to calm down with a loving person nearby. Maybe you don’t have someone in your life like that to listen to you or be there for you. Jesus is. He is there for you during any panic attack. He knows what your feeling.. He knows what you think is real and he knows you’re scared. You can cry out to Him and tell Him you need help. He is there for you and with you if you allow Him to be and call on Him. He will and can be your biggest comforter and friend. You are not alone. I know because He is my biggest comforter and was the only one who was truly there for me many times in my life. Call out to Jesus.. He loves you and He will help you. I hope this gets better soon and we can all get back to our normal lives and remember we are all in this thing together! God bless you all! Stay safe!

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